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kayykatastrophi's Journal

15 January 1989
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My name is Kimberly Anne Weaver, but you can call me Kayy. I am an individual, I am my own person. I do not conform to labels, I simply do what I believe in, and what I love. If I wear something that is in style, it is because I like it, NOT because it is in style. That is true individuality. You do not have to hate something because it is cool, just do it because you actually like it. I am a child of God. He is most important to me, and that will never change, so please do not try to. I have had my fall-outs and mistakes, but now I follow Him with all of my heart. I will live my life for Him and Him alone, and do whatever is His desire, and follow Him wherever He takes me. I have someone that I love very much. Yes, my heart is taken, and it always will be, by that one special person. He is the second most important person to me, so I ask you to please respect that and do not even consider flirting with me.He is everything I have ever dreamed of. Not long before I met him I wished on a shooting star to find my soul mate. The night I told him I first loved him we saw a shooting star. I pray to God all the time, and there is this deep, overwhelming feeling inside of me that tells me he is the one. I love anyone and everyone. Just because you do not believe what I believe does not mean I dislike you. I am very open-minded, however, I stand true to what I believe. That does not mean I will bash what you believe, but I kindly ask you not try and change my mind. I am also very opinionated, and open to friendly debate. I love to sing, and it is one of few things that I can do that make me feel truly whole. When I sing, this part of me that I never knew existed is present. No matter how I feel, singing makes everything better. An overwhelming feeling overtakes me, and I feel something beyond all explanation. Something unreal and unseen. And yes, I am good at it. I am a Thespian, and I proudly rep Troupe 5036. I do not drink or smoke, nor do I do anything illegal. I abide by the laws, and I strive to be a good person. I will kindly ask you not to smoke around me, because I cannot breathe around the smoke, and I hate the smell. I am somewhat of a tomboy. I enjoy running through the grass barefoot, feeling it in between my toes, and playing video games. Not girly video games (Although, I do enjoy The Sims). I like RPGs, fighting games, and FPSs. Final Fantasy VII is my absolute favorite game, and I could give you a full on rant about exactly why. I am a capricorn, however, I am nothing like one. I can lead others, however, I am much too shy to do so. I am a very dependent person. I am much more like an aries. I am a perfectionist in that which I do. Everything must be in perfect order, clean, and look nice. When I write something that I am passionate about, I will look it over so much I could say it word for word without looking, because I want it to be perfect, so if I don't get a good mark/opinion on it, I am distressed, depressed, and resentful to that person. I am a vegetarian, although, I eat fish. I am slowly weening myself of it it, so that when I move out I can become a vegan. This is a personal choice of mine, because I love animals, and do not find it right to eat animals. That does not mean I will tell you what to eat (Although, I strive to convince others to, at the very least, eat healthy, for THEIR own good), so please extend to me the same respect. I hate fighting and I hate hate. When someone hates me, or is mean to me, I do not fight back. I am a pacifist, and I would much rather show everyone love and compassion. I love water so much that one could describe me as a mermaid. If I could, I would live in water. I may be shy, however, over time I can become very talkative and outgoing. I love nature. Going on adventures is a passion of mine. Walking through the shaded forest, seeing the adorable wildlife, hearing the crunch of the leaves under my feet, it is very enjoyable to me. The fresh air makes me smile. I love nighttime, and I am more likely to be awake then than any other time. I am a bit of an insomniac. I do, sadly, have anxiety, but I am finally learning to control it, and will never ever let it rule me any more, because I refuse to hurt another soul. Helping people is a passion of mine. I will help anyone and everyone, no matter who they are. I would help even those who have wronged me terribly. I love helping people so much so that I desire to be a counselor. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in forgiveness no matter the transgression. I believe in fifty million second chances, if need be. That is not to encourage hurting me, because every time someone hurts me, it takes a little bit longer to come to trust them again. I have simply come to the realization that everyone makes mistakes, no matter how big or small. None of us are perfect, and we never will be. Life is too short to hold onto things. When you do not learn to forgive and forget you will never find happiness, and you will likely be alone. People need to realize they are no more perfect than someone who hurt them. I love reading books, and I do it for fun. Not only that, but I love writing. I have been inspired to write, and will soon start my own book. I also write songs. I do not sit and think about it, I simply have a piece of paper and a pen with me wherever I go, and randomly a blessing from God will pop into my head. I love the rain, but thunder upsets and scares me. The sound of rain calms me, and helps me sleep, and I quite enjoy dancing in the rain, barefoot. The smell of wet pavement makes me smile. I have many facets. I can be both mature and childish/silly, it all depends on what the mood calls need for, and how I personally feel. I can be wise and mature, or I can be bouncy, bubbly, and somewhat immature. Who is the true me, though? All of it meshed together. I am quite a bit claustrophobic, however, it is not extreme. I hate heights. It does not matter if I am surrounded on all sides by ten inch walls, I still feel like I am about to fall. I also hate going under and over bridges. I feel like they could fall on me, or out from under me. I am quite afraid of the dark, but only under conditions. The darkness outside scares, however, I am not afraid when the moon is full and bright. Hallways and dark rooms, other than my own, scares me. I am afraid of dogs, and do not trust any except for my own dearest Do Ja. He is the only dog I will ever love or trust, and he means the world to me. He is my sweetheart, and when he hurts, I hurt. I may love water, however, very deep water scares me. If someone is down, I will make any attempt to make them smile, because I dislike it when people are unhappy. I believe everyone deserves to be happy. On that note, I am quite empathetic. If I see something painful, I feel pain. If I see a dead animal on the side of the road, I hurt. Sometimes I can feel the pain of those I love dearly, without actually seeing them, or being told they hurt. I enjoy poetic wording/conversations, they make me smile. I am a bit of a grammar/spelling nazi, so be prepared to be corrected when wrong. Sorry, but it bothers me. I love playing DDR, for exercise, and for fun. I am not the best, but there are songs that I am amazing at. PostSecret is a constant for me, and I will always read it. I have sent in one secret, and although it was not shown, it helped me so much. Although I have only done so in one, I love dancing in sprinklers. Whenever I see them I have an insane need to dance in them. One day, I will. I will dance with the love of my life through sprinklers, all the while smiling and laughing. I love Autumn (And I refuse to call it Fall). I love the fact that it has cooled off, the crunchy leaves, and the general feel. I love Spring because it has warmed up some, but not to an insane degree. I love the blooming flowers, all the colors, and the spring storms. You can hate me all you want, you can be as mean as you want, but I will always always love you. I will always be there when you shout my name. Although other's opinions of me does not matter, I worry like no tomorrow. I worry about anything and everything. I love life to the fullest, and I will not hold back. I dislike regrets, so any chance I can, I do what I believe is right, and say what is on my mind. I dream like no tomorrow. It is likely that you will have to repeat yourself quite often, because not only is one of my ears seventy-five percent deaf, I get quite confused. I am not perfect, and I never will be. Sorry to disappoint. However, I can be everything you ever dreamed of, and more than you ever thought you needed. This is my story, and I intend to make the world a better place.

Journal Layout: Fruitstyle designs

Mood Theme: Aradira
500 days summer, a cool moonlight, a walk to remember, abandon, aly&aj, anime, aquamarine, armor for sleep, barlow girl, being random and crazy, being sung to, brandon heath, building 429, carried away, charmed thirds, chasen, confusing people, cuddling, dancing in the rain, dashboard confessional, death cab for cutie, degrassi: the next generation, demi lovato, elizabethtown, ella enchanted, freedom writers, gingerbread, harry potter, hellogoodbye, helping others, heroes, high school musical, hitch, i will survive, ice princess, instant star, juno, just like heaven, kissing, laughing, listening to music, looking at smiles, lord of the rings, love, luminate, making people laugh, making people smile, mandy moore, manga, margaux with an x, mean girls, miley cyrus, motion city soundtrack, narnia, nick and norah, pirates of the caribbean, praising and worshiping god, praying to god, reading, rush of fools, sailor moon, sanctus reel, second helpings, shell point, showing people they're loved, singing, sloppy firsts, smell of wet asphalt, south of nowhere, spreading christ’s love, star wars, stargirl, stephanie smith, swimming, switchfoot, taking back sunday, talking to god, the all-american rejects, the bible, the chronicles of narnia, the clique series, the feel of christmas, the music of dolphins, the o.c., the parent trap, the pursuit of happiness, the truth about forever, the veronicas, this beautiful republic, time and distance, toby mac, twilight, watching the sunrise, yellowcard